Second Half of the Very Beginning

Hello again, it’s been a tiny bit since I’ve posted. Thats just because I’m finally home for good and I’m just being a liiiiiiittlllee lazy LOL. So again, sorry for that. But if you have not read Blog #2, I highly suggest that before reading this one or you’ll be confused. I’m so happy that you’re here another day, reading MY blog, how crazy is that??

Ive been spending some time doing some of my favorite things such as, watercolor painting, playing with my dogs, watching Severance (if you have Apple TV you must watch) I’ve also started watching Lost. Have never seen it before its very interesting and keeps my attention, I love to game as well on my PC. Doing things through the week has definitely kept me busy and entertained. As I’m writing this the same day ill post it, i also went back to work today. I loved seeing all of my coworkers, they actually sang happy birthday to me, which I was not expecting, it was literally so embarrassing LMAO. Now I’m at home writing this one out for yall!

Let’s get to what you really came for! The second half of The Very Beginning. I left off with dropping out of college, sadly. I went home back to Kendallville to start dialysis every MWF with a 3 1/2 session each time. That in itself was terrible, never ever do i want to do that again. I feel so bad for the people who are older and have to live on dialysis for the rest of their lives. I started dialysis on March 7th, 2019, two days before my birthday. I know, that really sucked, i didnt have friends, I was so tired to do anything, i did have my boyfriend at the time there with me, husband now:). It was just a very low time in my life that i wish no one to go through. I was very depressed, angry at God, why me God? Ive been healthy all my life with no issues, and then suddenly i eat something that just kills my body on the inside? I started getting really high blood pressures, where i would get headaches slept even more than before, get so weak i could barely stand up without passing out. Vision was getting worse, the issue was still that high blood pressure. I delt with this until May of 2019. I am not sure of the exact date on which this happened, but this memory is very vivid to me. the night before this one thing happened, i was staying over at my mentors’ house, because reasons i don’ really want to share full details, but i did not have acess to my medicine. I was hanging out doing i dont even remember what LOL. But that night is where it took a turn. I woke up in the middle of the night multiple times throwing up, coughing my lungs out, anything to do except for sleep through the night. its finally morning, i had actually fallen back asleep for a few hours. Liz was gone to take her kids somewhere. I went downstairs and oh my gosh, i had the worst headache the sun was hurting my eyes, i was extremely tired. But i knew that i had dialysis at 2 o’clock, I was banking on Isaiah to be there after work to take me to Davita. It was getting really close to 2PM and he hadn’t let me know that he was on his way or anything. So of course, the person I am, I started to panic. Kept checking the time slowly getting worse by the second. I knew something was wrong, i hadn’t had my medicine all weekend. Something in my gut was telling me just to go to the hospital but i went to Davita instead. Maybe i just needed treatment. Isaiah had dropped me of inside the building because he had to carry my bag, i was way too weak. I sat down with my head in my hands and closed my eyes. From the time he had dropped me off to the time my nurse came back to get me everything was black, i couldnt see anything. I told the nurse that i couldnt see anything, and then she proceeded to ask me if i was blind, I said no! i’m not blind everything is just black. Thats all i remember from that. They had told me later after i was recovered and back at Davita again that I was so violent towards them, that they knew there was something wrong. They sat me in my chair too my blood pressure and it was 280/170. Not good. Ambulance was called. Of course, i was violent with them as well, but i didnt remember, that wasnt me. I woke up 5 days later out of a coma. I had a high blood pressure stroke. That was a lot to recover from. My vision changed drastically, i couldnt communicate really much at all, or i was not able to write my own name. I was in there for a while, there were just trying to get my blood pressure to be stable. Whenever i would try and sleep i kept seeing these black figures with yellow eyes, it was terrifying. I didn’t sleep for a couple days, until my sister came and prayed over me. God really is real. After she left i was finally able to sleep without seeing the demons when i closed my eyes. I was counting the days to get out. In that time, I was relearning to write my name, relaxing, and just praying to God, also asking “God why me?” I wasn’t angry this time, i was more blessed that he saved my life once again. He decided to do it again in the beginning of June as well. Same situation but this time i didnt go into a coma, i dont know what time was worse, now i would probably say the second one. I started to get a terrible headache around 11 pm. My mom had been sick and not sleeping, that day i told her take melatonin to help her sleep. When i woke up with the terrible headache i tried to wake my mom up and let her know that i was going to call the ambulance because i didnt feel right. She wouldnt wake up. So i called the ambulance to the house, and from the time they were called and when they arrived, i slowly got worse. By the time that the EMS had arrived i was on the kitchen floor trying to explain what was happening, but suddenly i knew what i wanted to say but couldnt even think of the words. I don’t even remember getting into the ambulance, nor getting into the hospital. I remember they scheduled an MRI, didn’t give me any meds to help my anxiety at all. They took out my nose ring (AND LOST IT). Put me in the MRI machine and I immediately started freaking out. I kept trying to tell them i want out, but i couldnt say it, they just kept telling me to stay still. They eventually had to take me out because I wouldn’t stay still. I also started smelling bad, i realized i started my cycle and had been sitting in it for a few days and didnt even know how to tell anybody but my sister when she visited. This time i was at Parkview Randallia, which NEVER go there. I had no choice because I was on hemo dialysis, that where they send all the kidney patients. The nurses didnt seem to care at all. I remember being lonley, and so sad being in there alone. That is why i am an ICU girly, they care for you so much, you have the giant window you can see out of to see people.

Wanna know why i kept having strokes? On top of stage 5 kidney failure, they also discovered i had a very rare blood disease called Atypical Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome, AHUS for short. The way the doctor described it to me was ‘your blood vessles are like barbed wire, and thats where your red blood cells travel through. So they then split and start attacking themselves, then your organs. The first one they attack? Kidneys. I have to thank THE BEST kidney doctor out there (Sorry, Dr. Moiz) Dr. Raval, hes the one that made everything move. He got me all sorts of tests ordered to figure out why i kept having strokes. That he did. I thank God again for saving my life for the THIRD TIME.